Recently, I\u2019ve been turning off my iPhone \u2014 all the way off! \u2014 for 10 to 30 minutes at a time. I leave it somewhere in the house, while I try to live\u00a0IRL (\u201cin real life\u201d), washing dishes, hanging up laundry, or even going for a walk, phoneless.<\/p>\n
In this hyper-connected world of ours, doing so, even for such a short time, often feels like an enormous act of self-deprivation \u2014 no podcasts, no long-distance communication with those I\u2019m closest to, no social media, no para-social relationships, no steps of mine being counted, or micro-health-tracking going on.\u00a0So much, in other words, missing in action.\u00a0I\u2019m not a digital native. In fact, I am what they call a late adopter. I didn\u2019t get a cell phone until the fall of 2003. So I remember when it was normal to go about your business without a powerful computer attached to your person. Even with that perspective \u2014 recalling the not-so-long-agos of answering machines and public phones with grubby buttons and Internet cafes \u2014 I feel unsettled when I\u2019m\u00a0untethered from my digital leash and experiencing what might pass for freedom, even for a few minutes.<\/p>\n
But as unsettling as it is, I also want\u00a0to start new patterns. Lawyer friends tell me that activists often turn their phones off for the first (and maybe only) time as they commit acts of political property destruction. It\u2019s almost a rite of passage for the newly politicized, and it\u2019s as incriminating as the massive data trails that other activists might leave.<\/p>\n
Did you hear about\u00a0the\u00a0Tesla\u00a0saboteur? Home from college in Boston for spring break, the 19-year-old wanted\u00a0to\u00a0express his rage at billionaire\u00a0Elon Musk\u2019s<\/a>\u00a0government\u00a0takeover.\u00a0He\u00a0went to a Kansas City\u00a0Tesla<\/a>\u00a0dealership in the middle of the night and used a homemade Molotov cocktail to set a\u00a0Cybertruck<\/a>\u00a0on fire. The fire spread, destroying charging stations and setting a second truck aflame, causing more than $200,000 in damage.\u00a0He\u00a0was\u00a0caught in the act<\/a>\u00a0\u2014 at least in data terms. The cameras at Tesla\u00a0(and\u00a0inside Tesla vehicles<\/a>\u00a0themselves)\u00a0pinpointed the time of the property destruction, while images of someone who looked like him were caught on\u00a0multiple\u00a0cameras\u00a0in the vicinity.<\/p>\n As for new patterns, turning off my cellphone for a period of time every day means a small window of datalessness that offers a twenty-first-century version of rebellion. It\u00a0dams up the stream of free data that flows from my device with every tap-tap and swipe.\u00a0By\u00a0doing so, I create a tiny space for surprise, for rebellion, for precious secrecy.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t have any plans to sabotage a Tesla showroom, nor am I in a current conspiracy with anyone trying\u00a0to stop a shipment<\/a>\u00a0of\u00a0U.S. weapons<\/a>\u00a0to the Israeli Defense Forces for its genocidal campaign against Gaza. I\u2019m not trying to organize a workers\u2019 strike at my\u00a0kids\u2019 school or local\u00a0grocery store<\/a>. To my shame, I\u2019m not\u00a0actively planning any\u00a0of\u00a0these actions.\u00a0For those who don\u2019t want to make rookie activist data mistakes, the Internet (and here\u2019s a nod toward the irony) is full of\u00a0crash courses<\/a>\u00a0on\u00a0security culture\u00a0<\/a>and avoiding\u00a0self-incrimination<\/a>\u00a0or entrapment through careless reliance on\u00a0tech<\/a>.<\/p>\n As I power down that ubiquitous device, I remind myself of my own power, too. Yes, I still know how to get places without a map app. I know the answers to the random trivia that comes into my mind any day. (Who sang that song? Who was president in 1954?) Or I can live with the not-knowing. Amazingly enough, I\u2019ve discovered that I still know how to live in my own mind alone, without being distracted\u00a0or entertained\u00a0by a podcast. I\u2019ve realized that just because I have the urge to reach out to so-and-so, it doesn\u2019t actually mean that it has to happen that very second.\u00a0It\u2019s bracing and helpful to remember I can live without this device.<\/p>\n I\u2019m well aware of the research on how bad the online world can be for anyone, especially\u00a0young people<\/a>. And believe it or not, my kids \u2014 11 and 12 \u2014 still don\u2019t have cellphones and don\u2019t live online. They don\u2019t play video games on and off all day long or have access to their own devices at home. But that doesn\u2019t mean that they\u2019re living some Montessori or\u00a0Waldorf<\/a>\u00a0fantasy of\u00a0Luddite<\/a>\u00a0delight. I kind of wish they were. But that life is for a much higher income bracket than mine. It\u2019s worth noting that many in the tech world\u00a0take great pains<\/a>\u00a0to shield\u00a0their children<\/a>\u00a0from this technology. Every other kid on my daughter\u2019s bus undoubtedly has a phone and I\u2019m sure she\u2019s craning to look over someone\u2019s shoulder whenever she can. My son\u2019s friends all have phones \u2014 no surprise in this world of ours \u2014 and play video games regularly. He\u2019s a little left out of the chatter about this or that gaming platform, but I\u2019m not giving in just so he can fit into a culture that I don\u2019t think is all that healthy to begin with.<\/p>\n As a parent, I think a lot about the kind of world I\u2019m preparing my kids for. And I guess there\u2019s an argument to be made for preparing them for a world lived largely online, since that\u2019s where we are these days. But I\u2019m going to try and hold the line and reject that very world as much as humanly possible. (Humanly indeed!)<\/p>\n I want my kids running, swimming, noticing the world around them, creating art, hearing bird songs and cries of warning, reading good books (or even not-so-great ones) \u2014 almost anything but playing video games and diving into the deep end of a cyber-cesspool of bullying, eating disorders, and a fixation on looks.<\/p>\n I read about the connections between\u00a0video games<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0war fighting<\/a>\u00a0today and in the future. And it\u2019s strange (at least to me) to imagine war as a\u00a0video game<\/a>\u00a0and the degradation that goes with it. After all, dehumanization is the name of the\u00a0grisly game<\/a>\u00a0these days for the Israeli Defense Forces.\u00a0Soldiers are taught<\/a>\u00a0that the Palestinian people \u2014 even children \u2014 are less than fully human. Technology may not make them feel that way, but it certainly does make it\u00a0easier<\/a>\u00a0to execute orders involving collective punishment, total surveillance, technological harassment, and ethnic cleansing.<\/p>\n On Wednesdays, my kids walk to the library, where they can log onto public computers and watch\u00a0unboxing<\/a>\u00a0videos or tutorials on contouring (whatever that may be!). And then they have to walk home in time for dinner. It\u2019s a little over a mile round trip, and I figure it\u2019s a good trade-off. I tell them that they can have a smartphone when they can pay for it themselves, but in my dreams what I\u2019d really like would be a communications device that, in order to use, they had to power with a bicycle or a hand crank. I would want it to feel like work. Because it\u2019s not a value-neutral object and the network it relies on is not value-neutral either. At every juncture, this technology that we take for granted has a high labor, material, and\u00a0environmental cost<\/a>.<\/p>\n My daughter Madeline is 11. I notice her putting ever more attention into her appearance, primping and carefully considering her outfits. Still, she smiles when she looks in the mirror, delighting in her strong sense of style and dancing to the beat of her own drummer. Her once-a-week plunge into YouTube hasn\u2019t dissipated her sense of self the way daily (hourly?) immersion<\/a>\u00a0would. She plays softball, runs at recess, and has a healthy appetite. She isn\u2019t isolated from the world, and she and I talk about body image, aging, and the way old-fashioned media, social media, and AI create impossible standards for women.<\/p>\n Recently, we watched an ad featuring the multi-hyphenate\u00a0Jennifer Lopez<\/a>\u00a0who, at the age of 55, is acting, singing, dancing, and representing high-end brands like a full-time mogul model. \u201cGosh, Mom. I can\u2019t believe she is older than you,\u201d Madeline said with the unalloyed frankness of the young. She didn\u2019t have to mention my wrinkles and rolls and masses of white hair. It was all implied in her incredulous tone.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, my Love, it\u2019s not my job to look a certain way,\u201d I replied.<\/p>\n Jennifer Lopez is, of course, a knockout. I have loved her since\u00a0Out of Sight<\/em><\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0Jenny From the Block<\/em><\/a>. As a public figure and a professional beauty, she\u2019s in a position to maintain her looks, no matter what the cost. She undoubtedly spares no expense when it comes to trainers, treatments, makeup, and clothes to keep that look (or at least something close to it), and then computers and lighting do the rest.<\/p>\n Believe me, it\u2019s good to have these conversations with my kid, to have her understand the effort and cost that go into looking like Jennifer Lopez, or any other celebrity. As I pointed out to Madeline, I don\u2019t have a deal with a face-cream company or a clothing line or a perfume outfit or some kind of alcohol company that requires me to devote myself to my persona. And in her own fashion, she heard me.<\/p>\n As I reflect now, I realize that, without such conversations, she might think she\u2019s supposed to look that way, too, and that there\u2019s something wrong with her if she doesn\u2019t. That degraded sense of self is\u00a0easy pickings<\/a>\u00a0for our consumerist culture which sends unrelenting messages that this or that product will fill the hole.<\/p>\n All my yellow thumbs up, all my mindless clicks and swipes, the time traps I fall into \u2014 full disclosure: it\u2019s\u00a0videos of thrifters<\/a>\u00a0on the hunt for deals and the\u00a0posts of the hauls<\/a>\u00a0they buy to resell that grab me every time! That\u2019s my weak spot. But every minute online is captured in a huge data profile of ME that I can\u2019t contest or contrive or unravel. But I can turn away. Turn off the iPhone. Turn away from the screen. Disconnect the stream of data. This pervasive technology and its promises of ease and a frictionless existence are a downright lie. After all, the same technological framework powers\u00a0DoorDash<\/a>\u00a0and the weaponized drones that are now raining\u00a0terror down on children<\/a>\u00a0just like mine in Gaza.<\/p>\n I live far enough away from Gaza (in so many senses) that I could mindlessly embrace DoorDash while rejecting killer drones. But now that I\u2019ve made the connection, I can\u2019t un-make it. So I am going to say as big a NO as possible to both.<\/p>\n As the world gets more networked and more automated, the basic knowledge of how to survive in it gets lost, commodified, or controlled. How to find and purify water, how to grow and prepare\u00a0food<\/a>\u00a0\u2014 lost! The \u201ccloud\u201d won\u2019t bring rain to end\u00a0drought conditions<\/a>. The Internet is not going to feed us in a supply chain collapse. These are the things that keep me up at night, so without freaking out too much, my kids and I work on life skills together. Eye contact, stamina for walking, tolerance of discomfort, strategic decision-making, map-reading, determining threat levels, and assessing someone\u2019s trustworthiness. These are all skills that will help my kids in a distinctly precarious future.<\/p>\n A few years ago, an artist named\u00a0Simon Weckert<\/a>\u00a0borrowed a few dozen iPhones from friends, put them in a red wagon and took a walk through the\u00a0streets of Berlin<\/a>. With just an hour or so of lag time, Google Maps showed all the streets and roads he had walked on bottlenecked in traffic jams. Video of\u00a0his mobile art piece<\/a>\u00a0shows him strolling down the center of empty roads. It\u2019s absorbing to watch that video, a split screen of him in a yellow jacket with the jaunty gait of a wagon puller and those red-lined Google Maps. Weckert\u2019s\u00a0performance\u00a0<\/a>demonstrates how our sense of reality is mediated by, filtered through, and dependent on a technology we simply don\u2019t fully grasp or understand.<\/p>\n What we see isn\u2019t what is real. In these dystopian Trumpy days, deep in our bones, we know that. Trump rants about\u00a0White genocide<\/a>\u00a0and radical-left judicial\u00a0monsters<\/a>\u00a0and tweets out AI-constructed images of himself as the\u00a0Pope<\/a>, a\u00a0Jedi master<\/a>, a golden statue in a renovated\u00a0Gaza resort<\/a>. What we see isn\u2019t what\u2019s real. And yes, I am in awe of it. I am afraid of it. I know it cannot feed me. I know it is trying to cleave my attention from the question of how we survive this violent present and make a different and far better future.<\/p>\n Peter Maurin<\/a>, who co-founded the Catholic Worker movement with\u00a0Dorothy Day<\/a>, was fond of saying that we make the future different by making the present different.<\/p>\n So, I am turning my iPhone off. It makes my present different. Will it make the future any different?<\/p>\n It won\u2019t hurt to try!<\/p>\n Copyright 2025 Frida Berrigan<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" So, I am turning my iPhone off. It makes my present different. Will it make the future any different? It won\u2019t hurt to try!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":128238,"featured_media":3513549,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[79720,213535],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3513540","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-society","category-society-featured"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.resilience.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3513540","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.resilience.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.resilience.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.resilience.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/128238"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.resilience.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3513540"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.resilience.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3513540\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3513551,"href":"https:\/\/www.resilience.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3513540\/revisions\/3513551"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.resilience.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3513549"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.resilience.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3513540"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.resilience.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3513540"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.resilience.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3513540"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Dehumanizing Technology?<\/h3>\n
Spending Time with Jennifer Lopez<\/h3>\n
Making the Future Different?<\/h3>\n